DARTH MAUL SAGA

This is the Darth Maul saga (c) 2001 and is written by the Webmasters of this Website. No one can copy any of these stories without claiming it belongs to us. Use the URL www.sithtemple.freeservers.com to recognize us so there is no way your copying will be illegal. Send your entries of the Darth Maul saga to magic@planetaccess.com. Good stories will be accepted. Do NOT focus on sexual, gay content just focus on Sith Lords and their Revenge Tricks.

DARTH MAULS STORYWORLD VS. THE JEDI EPISODE I

Darth Maul was collecting his comics of the X-Men. He predicted a
woman named Rebecca Romijn Stamos will play a girl named
Mystique in a motion picture version of the movie.

X-Men was created by Qui Gon Jinn and will be mistaken for a guy
named Stan Lee on another back-wards Star System.

It was time for Darth Mauls Light Saber training. Darth Maul was
tired but he grabbed his Double-Edged Sword and went
for the gym. He is confused why he likes a comic book
created by an enemy. When he was confused, he became
wild. So when he got angry at himself, he
kept spinning his Light Saber and hit 2 sacks of bacta powder.

Then Darth Sidious entered the room and used the
Dark Side to pull Darth Mauls sword. "You are becoming
clumsy my apprentice! And this sword is a training
Saber!"

"You switched it,
Master!"

"I did NOT. If you want to use training Sabers why dont you use plastic toys?"

"I will punish you, my apprentice! NO Erin Brockovich the Movie today! Instead I will send you on a mission"

Darth Maul got back his Light Saber.

"You will go to the Coruscant School. There are hundreds of teachers there who only tell you bulshit and the annoying brat Obi Wan Kenobi who keeps pissing people off to teach them to have patience. It's a little Jedi tip he got before he can even go to their temple."

"Its too tiresome!"

"They also play Video Games called Counter Strike, Counter STROKES, E.R, Ally McBeal and Star Craft!"

"Those fucking games suck! Those guys are twisted!"

"Your mission is to strike on those brats and use a training Saber! That is your punishement! You can use the revenge tricks I told you about and George Haydukes nasty pranks, but your weapon will only be a training saber."

Darth Maul was about to go to the school and he found out that Obi Wan Kenobi, a boy who is gonna go to the Jedi temple will study in that school.

When he went to tour the school, he only had a training light saber on his belt, a marker and an envelope. He saw Obi Wan Kenobi kicking the girls in class. When the girls complained, he said "Patience, my sexy schoolmates!" The girls got angry at him and said that sometimes Obi Wan is cute everytime he did it.
Then Obi Wan went near Darth Maul and told him the value of patience and forgvness. Darth Maul did NOT talk. Then Obi Wan made punching gestures like a chicken and told him that he is a Counter Striker. Darth Maul punched Obi Wans face and the future Jedi walked away and said he has a strong fist, stronger than Bruce Lee. That was just a lousy threat, Darth Maul can hit him again.

When Darth Maul went home, he used a telephone and called Obi Wan. Darth Maul said "Wheres my, money motherfucker!" Then hung up. He was sure the Jedi is confused and scared about the prankster who called but he did NOT know it was Darth Maul.

The next day, Darth Maul met a girl named Sandy. He asked questions about Obi Wan and the girl answered "He is full of philosophy!". Darth Maul wrote on an envelope LIAR, at the lid with nothing inside and put it in Obi Wans backpack. Obi Wan said "Oh my goodness!"

Darth Maul saw Obi Wan going near him and Obi Wan told him about the threat he received. Obi Wan started rubbing Darth Mauls back and told him that philosophy is the best thing in the world. It keeps him from going wild. Darth Maul lit up the red training Saber and whirled it around to scare the brat. Obi Wan went away and said, I have my laser sword also!

Darth Maul went to Darth Sidious apartment and saw Darth Sidious watching himself on TV. Mr. Palpatine is talking about the issue of necessary gun ownership in the Republic. Darth Sidious told him that he will be busy again for another meeting on gun ownership and said that he wanted to compete with Charlton Heston in the Senate. "Anyway, Darth Maul you have done well, your next move is to maim Obi Wan Kenobi, you have to fight well tomorrow, did the brat know you sent those pranks or threats to him?" "No, Master". "Good, stealth is the best way to pull a dirty prank".

Darth Maul went to Obi Wan with his red training Saber and Obi Wan has a lousier training Saber he stole from a Jedi Apprentice who got killed. Darth Maul hit Obi Wan in the knee and the brat said "Think you can hurt me?". Obi Wan can NOT shut up because of his philosophical influence, then Obi Wan thrusted his sword to the Sith Lords neck but Darth Maul parried it. There was an eraser on the bench and Darth Maul used the Dark Side of the Force to pull it and hit Obi Wans face. Some of the girls were scared of this fighting but Sandy and her friends were happy that the philosophy idiot is getting hurt.

Then the semi duel reached the school library and Obi Wan kicked a book to the Sith but Darth Maul pounded it and it hit Obi Wans neck.

One of the principals student teachers looked at the fight from the window. If Obi Wan will continue, his good deeds will be forgotten if he is reported to the gay playboy, young white, tyrant principal. Obi Wan decided to commit suicide. Darth Maul slashed his write hip and Obi Wan disappered and his clothes fell down. The sex-offending principal arrived and Darth Maul left when the door of the library jammed on the switch he punched. Darth Maul left for the secret Sith Headquarters. Obi Wan NEVER and did NOT disappear, he just curled like a girl using the dance technique taught and there P.E. class. Obi Wan was flexible and has dexterity but is NOT entirely fit.

Obi Wan the next day was sent to the Jedi Council to start his training.
A young person, black called Mace Windu and an old master Yoda were teaching him a mind-reading Force-test with a screen held and only the Jedi can see.

Obi Wan always guessed it correctly "A cup….. A speeder….. My principals underwear…. A Counter Strokian Stethoscope…"

Yoda told Obi Wan that he is afraid to leave the sexy girls in school. "How feel you?"
"Cold Sir, your Condura Aircons are way too much"
"Afraid are you?"
"NO sir"
"See thru you we can!"

Then Obi Wan said "Whats that got to do with any thing?"
"Everything!" "Fear is the path to the Dark Side, Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to suffering, suffering leads to medicine, medicine that is Anecene, that leads to Aniston, Jennifer Aniston"
Obi Wan interrupted "You gave that bulshit for three hours! I know whats next, Jeniffer Aniston who starred together"------ Yoda finished "with Kevin Bacon in PICTURE PERFECT, 7 Degrees of Kevin Bacon!"
Obi Wan is tired "Whoa"! Then Yoda said "The boy has NO patience!" Mace Windu talked "He will learn patience." Obi Wan said "Hey, nigger! You look like that guy in Shaft!"
Then Mace Windu said "Nigger??!! Fuck you you little dipshit!, I am NOT Richard Roundtree, even if I look like the guy in PULP FICTION!"
Obi Wan is annoyed "Yeah. You got ZERO patience too!"

On the Sith Base. Darth Sidious is happy. "I finally have beaten Charlton Heston. I have given the gun-ownership authority to Iridonia, my apprentice". Darth Maul does NOT care. "So?" "You have done well in defeating Kenobi, he is on the Jedi Temple training with those whining debaters!"

"I will reward you with your Erin Brockovich viewing and a look at Akira Kurosawas The Hidden Fortress"

"Yes, Master where are the DVDs?"

"The VCDs are on the shelf"

Then Darth Maul was given back his REAL DEADLY DOUBLE EDGED LIGHT SABER back. Darth Maul tested it by cutting a metal pole on the Sith gym, and by throwing hard projectiles and cutting them and breaking them.

Then WE SEE a flying vehicle passing by the hidden Sith building and many other vehicles flying on Coruscant.




DARTH MAUL VS. THE JEDI BRAT EPISODE II

Darth Sidious is training Darth Maul on the Jedi Temple. After being electrocuted by Darth Sidious Dark Side Bolts. Darth Maul is fighting a flying Light Saber with his own Double Edged Light Saber. Darth Sidious is levitating the training Light Saber.
"Master, Im tired" Darth Sidious got angry "There is NO pain where strength lies. You are a weak apprentice". Darth Maul cut the hilt of his Masters Light Saber and tried to attack the politician Sith Lord. But Darth Sidious used his electricity to hit Darth Maul "Pay the price for your lack of vision! Your feeble skills are NO match for me!"
Darth Maul got hurt. "You ARE Weak, Darth Maul. It is time to rest".

Darth Maul rested and is playing his Play Station games. The game he is playing is Tenchu Stealth Assassins. The concept is better than most games. "Are you fininshed resting, my weak apprentice?", he haerd Darth Sidious voice. "I will NOT give you a lousy training Saber again, this time I want you to kill Obi Wan Kenobi right away!"

Then Darth Maul, the next day used a cardboard cut out of Obi Wan Kenobi and started levitating it and trying the rip the cut out off. Darth Sidious entered the rroom and said "Do you think you can gain anything by cutting, posters? Never mind, now I have another exercise for you"

Darth Maul is taken to Darth Sidious special operations room and is told to use the Dark Side and brainwash a taxidriver so Darth Sidious can ride his way to the Senate. "I dont even know a face of a damn taxi driver, Master!" Then Darth Sidious corrected him "You do NOT have to, just let the Dark Side flow, thru you"

Then a taxi arrived at the door of the Sith Headquarters. The taxi driver said "A Senator Palpatine called me". Darth Sidious left and remindied Darth Maul of his mission.
Darth Maul is a more advanced fighter thatn Obi Wan Kenobi and he has defeated him before in the school library of Coruscant. His Master was making a Senate Tour for the Schools campaign and found out of Obi Wans incident. Darth Sidious told Darth Maul to make friends with Obi Wan and tell him that he likes Obi Wan being a Jedi Student. Darth Maul used the telephone again and threatened Obi Wan anonymously "Hey, get away from me you clumsy brat!!!!!!!" and he hung up and was sure that Obi Wan was shocked at the call. Darth Sidious told him to practice threatening the enemy because that will come in handy in his missions in the future.

Darth Maul went to the balcony of the Jedi Temple. Obi Wan saw him and got angry. Darth Maul ttried to keep the Jedi calm. "Remember, what you told me about patience, Obi Wan!" But the oafy Jedi Apprentice made actions with a training Saber. And made "Hiiiyaaaa!" Karate shouts to the Sith Lord. But Darth Maul did NOT have a holster and was NOT bringing his weapon. Darth Maul waved Obi Wans Light Saber and almost made it fall down the city. Obi Wan aksed "Whoa! Your a Jedi?" but Darth Maul did NOT reveal himself. "No, I am a talented bar tender, now lets go to the canteen and Ill get you a hamburger!" Obi Wan asked.

"Are we friends now?"

"Yes, Oafy Wan."

"Friends like David Shwimmer and Jennifer Aniston and Lisa Kudrow and that guy from a Whole nine yards?"

"More than a hundred yards!"
Darth Maul found out that the brat has been a new apprentice to Qui Gon Jinn, the author of Darth Mauls comics. When they reached the canteen, Darth Maul used the Dark Side to pull his Double Edged Light Saber and ignite it. Obi Wan fired his also "Your a liar!" Obi Wan started making the dancing actions of the corny tango he learned from the school and the ungraceful steps of the Jedi martial arts and started to fight Darth Maul. Obi Wan said

"Some idiot called me last night and now I am lied to by another person!!!" But Darth Maul did NOT reveal it was him who called because Darth Sidious reminded him that Sith NEVER announce themselves. Obi Wan remembered Qui Gon Jinns lesson and used the stupid Jedi hyper jump and jumped at Darth Maul but the Sith ducked and the brat fell off the window and got killed after Darth Maul sliced his neck with a double-rotation from his weapon.

On a street on Coruscant Qui Gon Jinn was buying groceries and paint for the new comics he is planning to make. Then he saw Obi Wans head fall off and his body follow on the street. "Oh my goodness, its my Padawan!" Qui Gon Jinn lifted the head and body of the brat student and went on his way to the temple.

The Council has granted permission to Clone Obi Wan but to retrain him, it was only 2 weeks of Jedi training so it is NOT too late. Qui Gon Jinn knew that Obi Wan still had memories but is worried with having a genetic duplicate of his pupil.

Darth Sidious heard the news of this and told Darth Maul to do something even better. He told Darth Maul to call him on the phone again. Darth Maul called on his Coruscant Bell Telephone again and said "LIAR!". The new Obi Wan clone had amnesia and Darth Sidious approved when he had the new Senate Mediciine Tour on the Jedi Temple and that one student has amnesia.

Darth Sidious and Darth Maul met again and they said that there is nothing to worry about now that the brat is brainwashed.

DARTH MAUL AND THE TOGORIAN. EPISODE III

Darth Maul was holding the telephone and Darth Sidious told him to STOP killing Obi Wan for a while but he can pull nasty pranks on the bastard. Darth Maul was told to
Call the Video Store and see if they have any PlayStation Games. That was for Darth Sidious and for him if he will complete his mission. It is Darth Mauls 19th Birthday next week.

"I want you to go to the Video Store personally later, Darth Maul and pick up the Playstation 2 with the 100 free tapes. While on the arcade area, I want you to stalk Bruck"

Darth Maul felt he knew about Bruck "Is he a Togorian Jedi Student, Master?"

"Yes, he knows Obi Wan but he NEVER knew that the brat is a clone, only the masters and myself know. You will play Video Games with the idiot and kill him"

Darth Maul was happy to be sent on this mission. Darth Sidious was about to go on his way to the Senate. "By the way, Darth Maul, use your skills and brainwash me a taxidriver!"

Darth Maul is NOT excited to do this "Its your turn, to brainwash the driver Master! Dont ask me to do it always!"

"Your skills are NOT as well trained as mine!"

"I do NOT think you have skills!"

"I have".

Then before Darth Mauls brainwash taxi arrived, 2 taxis arrived and Darth Sidious told the other one "Sorry, he came ahead of you!". Then Darth Sidious walked away with the taxi after he told Darth Maul "Re-brainwash your driver. I told you, I am NOT as weak as you think I am my apprentice".

Darth Maul walked to the sala and fed the cat and dog. Darth Maul owns those pets but Darth Sidious lives on the other building, also a hidden Sith base. The dog was fed with beef, also the cat had a share. Those two pets have never fought so far. Then he walked to the telephone, he will not do his mission until many hours yet so hell kill the time. When he lifted the handset of the telephone, a taxi driver arrived and said "Thats strange I feel someone called me, wanna ride?" But the Sith Apprentice used the Dark Side to Re-program the brainwashed driver "You will NOT take me anywhere, you will leave" Then the driver followed "I will NOT take you anywhere, I will leave". And the Sith made another mind-controlling trick

"I am very handsome"

"You are very, very handsome, sir".

Then Darth Maul proceeded back to the telephone. He called Paladin Press and ordered 15 books to Obi Wan Kenobi. Then he called Obi Wan himself and fired a blaster and hung up. That was a sign that he did something bad to the Jedi brat.
Then Darth Maul turned on the T.V. and watched NBC, it was lousy, there was XFL football instead of nice programs.
*****
On the planet Tatooine. The Togorian Bruck was having his PlayStation tape of Counter Strokes the Strokian Warrior game duplicated by Anakin Skywalker, slave but mechanic and son of Shmi Skywalker on the Outer Rim. Bruck asked "When will this be done?" then Anakin answered "Have patience, I thought you were a Jedi."

Then Anakin got a little worried. "Is this legal?"
The Togorian did not mind any of this. "Its none of your business, all you care about now is your WuipiWuipi, 100 I promise"

Then Anakin duplicated 5 copies finally of Counter Stroke the Strokian Warrior Game. Bruck shouted "Yeah, man!!! My friends will be happy!!!" Anakin asked his money "Now, where are my credits."
The Togorian Handed Anakin 100 WuipiWupi and left. Anakin saw the excited togorian dancing "She Bangs" by Ricky Martin, his WALKMAN player was so loud but it is a professional mechanics job to be professional. Especially when your paid high.

Back on Coruscant, Darth Maul was watching Survivor 2.Darth Maul likes Jeff Probst a little. Hes a cool guy. The XFL has NOT ended for 2 hours now. Even Jay Leno hates it, when he saw The Tonight Show 5 days ago.

On Tatooine, Anakin was happy with the money "Yes!!! Even Watto cant afford this."
Then Anakin left back for the Homestead because it was getting late on their planet.

Then Bruck landed on Coruscant. The proud Togorian Jedi still had his walkman, and he was listening to Christina Aguilera "Come on over, come on over baby, oh babeh your so fine……….." Then when the Aguilera music was playing the Togorian waved his Light Saber like a Cheerleader and a baton. The tough-looking, ugly, proud Togorian also waves pom-poms at home. The Jedi Temple including Mace Windu were having doubts if he was gay or NOT. And Obi Wan followed Bruck and drew his Light Saber, Bruck also got his Sword. Obi Wan keeps on shouting

"You ordered those Paladin Books you idiot!"

Bruck was confused "What are you talking about?" Before anyone got killed with live sabers, Qui Gon arrived and said "Stop it! Fighting is NOT the answer"

Bruck complained that he was accused of ordering those Books from one catalog and Obi Wan attacked.

Qui Gon lectured his brat apprentice "Now, Obi Wan. Attacking will never help. Peaceful spirituality and questioning is the best policy. Patience, remember that!"

On Darth Mauls base, he already changed and tested his Double Ended Light Saber and he is ready to attack.

Then Darth Maul went to the Jedi Temple ramp and saw Bruck and told him if he wants to go out for a drink. Then Bruck said yes. They went to the Coruscant Bar and the togorian was still listening to that stupid walkman VHS. Now he was listening to Bye, Bye Bye by NSync. Darth Maul told the togorian that he can get deaf with that. Bruck drank his Milky Milk Beverage and said "Isnt N Sync Groovy?" but Darth Maul was irritated by his taste of lousy music Darth Maul secretly mocked the group. "No, I think those boy bands have to merge into Back Sync Life 98 Plus One!"
Bruck was confused "You mean, Backstreet Boys, N Sync, Westlife 98 Degrees and Plus One?"

Darth Maul told him honestly "Yes, they all sound the same! Why dont they have Gerri Halliwell or the Spice Girls join them."

Then the two went outside of the bar and proceeded to the Video Bar. Darth Maul picked up his PlayStation 2 that Sidious ordered and left with Bruck. Bruck was still playing the games Counter Strokie game and the computer shouted "COUNTER TERRORISSS WIN!!!" Darth Maul called him "Lets go!" Darth Maul left his Player at the Counter and proceeded.

When they were walking, Darth Maul drew his Light Saber and Bruck fired his also. Bruck shouted "You are a traitor!!!!!!"

Then both of them were fighting. Bruck was having a solid training Saber and Darth Maul was holding a real one. Darth Maul waved his hand and used the Dark Side to choke Brucks neck with the wire of the Radio but Bruck coughed and blew it off. Darth Mauls orders were strict "Strike to kill!"

Then Darth Maul ran the chest of Bruck through. Darth Maul walked slowly to the injured togorian but Bruck hit Darth Mauls neck with the training Saber and knocked him to another level. When Darth Maul climbed back up, the idiot was gone but his blood was still there.

***

On the Sith base, Darth Maul reported the news to his Master. He also lent the PlayStation 2 and the 100 free CDs.

"Now, Master, I did my job!"

"But you failed to killed the togorian!!!"

"But Master! Ill turn 19 years old next--"

"Now, Darth Maul how many times have a told you that the killing is NOT over until the opponent is dead? Your Carelessness is your undoing, I will NEVER allow to play the CD in this week even if I will still give you money!"

"Master, it was---"

"No, your carelessness is your undoing".

Then Darth Maul got his 50 Republic Ditaries but with NO chance to play the new game that he just bought. Next time, he will be more careful in killing the enemy.

THE END


THE END.



© 2001 By DARTH MAULS SITHWORLD TEMPLE. No part of this may be reproduced in any way without permission from the webmaster.